Subject: A true mess WORSE than Battlefield Earth

I did’t think it was possible. Battlefield Earth WAS the worst high budget movie ever made…until now. To my fellow humans: Do something better with two and a half hours of your life. This movie is so wrong on so many levels. There are gratuitous scenes of Industrial Light and Magic special effects for no other reason than to say, “look what we can do now!”. Big deal, without a plot or story or ANY form of character development…it’s like when the batplane flys through the clouds just to sit briefly infront of the full moon to mimic the Bat-signal, before swooping back down to earth to continue(a bit late because of showing us the Bat- signal) fighting crime. BACK TO AI- In one scene Robot-boy meets another pretty lady MECHA(mechanical)…when she turns her head REPEATEDLY side to side we see (GASP!) that she is almost hollow…just an inch of face flesh and a pony tail that hangs eerily off the back of her nonexistent skull. You can see right through her head to the trees and stuff in the background. It is so wild…what will they come up with next??? Hopefully a GOOD movie. There is a super racist, completely unneccessary Chris Rock cameo. He is a Mecha comedian brought to the FLESH FAIR(a place where the distruction of robots is cheered and enjoyed by WHITE people who like to see stuff blow up (Nascar, Monster Truck and Wrestling fans should be proud). After being stuffed in a canon and uttering his one robot line,”I’ve decided to be shot OVER the spinning propeller blades of death..not INTO them…changed my mind”…he is immediately shot out through a burning ring of fire and INTO (not what he requested) the Blades which shred him to bits, but somehow his complete face gets through the blades and smacks the screen(Wish I was wearing my half blue half red glasses), looking like AL Jolsen in BLACK FACE and BURNING. The image stays on screen as you wait for this robot face to sing MAMMEEEE…but alas…it’s neural net of fiber optics has been severed, silly! Should I go on…the bottom line is…I sacrificed myself for you. That’s right, you will only be saved if you accept me as your AI saviour and heed my warning,”DON’T GO…PLEASE DON’T GO…I MEAN IT….DON’T DO IT…GO SEE THE FLINSTONES…GO SEE PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE…GO SEE SHOWGIRLS..GO SEE WATERWORLD…ANYTHING BUT THIS TRULY POOR EXCUSE FOR A WASTE OF TIME…WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US AS A RACE THAT WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO BE FOOLED AND TRICKED BY MISLEADING TRAILERS AND FAKE MOVIE REVIEWS…REMEMBER WHEN YOU WENT TO SEE THE MATRIX BECAUSE THE TRAILER TOLD YOU NOTHING, AND YOU WANTED TO FIND OUT EVEN THOUGH YOU HATED KEANU REEVES, AND THE MOVIE KICKED ASS, WELL…THIS IS NO FREAKING MATRIX…NOT EVEN CLOSE…OH YEAH…TO ALL YOU JAR JAR BINKS FANS OUT THERE (jim, kevin, and dave)…YOU’RE GONNA LOVE TEDDY!!!!!!….AND ALSO….ROBOTBOY JUST WANTS TO BE REAL…LIKE A REAL ORGA(ORGANIC) BOY…WITH FLESH AND BONES AND BLOOD….WELL….HE NEVER BECOMES REAL(THERE I RUINED IT)…WHY…HE’S A FREAKING ROBOT THAT’S WHY…SO WHY IS MORE THAN HALF THE STUPID MOVIE BASED AROUND HIS DREAM TO BE REAL???…GOT ME?…SOMETHING ABOUT OUR TAKING FOR GRANTED THAT WE CAN DREAM AND HAVE IMAGINATIONS….I TOOK FOR GRANTED THAT SOMEONE INVOLVED WITH THIS FILM HAD AN IMAGINATION…NICE JOB GUYS…BY THE WAY…SPACESHIPS DON’T JUST COME APART AT THE SEAMS AND FLOAT OFF INTO THIN AIR, YOU RETARDS!!!

People actually believed this nonsense, real, pointed questions were asked about the show “Alice” in lousy chat rooms all over that mess called aol.

Well… Vic was happy to respond, even though he was cold in the ground.

Christ! 15 years?

Vic we miss you, um … I mean we miss pretending we were you on the internet, with people who were extra stupid.

Really, some of those people are still subscribing to aol. Morons.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0851861/

And Vic Tayback isn’t dead. He’s smoking a cigarette in my kitchen. Like, right now.